Something happened the other day that I feel I need to talk about. I was driving along Interstate 20, headed to Dallas for a meeting and minding my own business. I usually get really sleepy when driving alone, so I take along plenty of coffee. Now I learned years ago in biology class that no matter how much you drink, you will eventually, uh, have to pull over. So I was getting a little desperate when I got to the Texas border and found to my delight a rest area complete with large restrooms.

As I was racing on foot from my truck to the restroom, I noticed it was quite crowded. Upon entering the restroom, I found it was filled to capacity but was pleased to find one vacant stall. I ran in and quickly closed and latched the door. I was getting comfortable with my surroundings, when all of a sudden, the guy next to me says: "Well hello there, how are you?"

I thought, surely this guy is not talking to me. I mean, my Mama told me when I was little not to talk to people in restrooms and of course, to always wash your hands. I knew that this was not proper bathroom etiquette, but I thought maybe this fella just wants to chat. So I answered: "I’m doing quite well, thank you."

He then asks: "So what have you been doing today?" Geez, I thought, this fella won’t let up. OK, so I will try to just be nice. So I answered: "Well, like you probably are, I’m driving west on I-20, headed to Dallas for a meeting that starts in the morning."

Then something happened that I shall never forget. He became extremely irritated and irate and said in a loud voice: "Listen Bobby, I will have to call you back later, the jerk in the next stall thinks I’m talking to him!" I was scared I would probably run into him when I left, so I stayed in there for about two hours.

I love cell phones, but I hate them too. These days, almost all of my patients have them when they are in my chair. It seems I’m always in the middle of a procedure when their phone rings.

Just yesterday, while performing a root canal, my patient’s phone rang. He handed it to me because he couldn’t talk. It was his attorney and apparently this man was going through a divorce. The counselor explains to me that the ex wants the house, the car, the dog, and his mother’s heirloom silver Mickey Mouse spoon collection. This attorney wants to know what to do, so I said: "Let her have it all."

Sometimes life is good, real good.

Originally appeared in the Louisiana Dental Association Journal.

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